英语笑话爆笑长一点1 Thebossofabigcompanywhoneededtocalloneofhisemployeesaboutanurgentproblemwithoneofthemai下面是小编为大家整理的2023英语笑话爆笑长一点,菁选3篇,供大家参考。
英语笑话爆笑长一点1
The boss of a big company who needed to call one of his employees about an urgentproblem with one of the main com*rs, dialed the employee"s home phone number and was greeted with a child"s whisper, "Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised, and wanting to talk with an *, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee"s home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he"s busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "ME"
英语笑话爆笑长一点2
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, "What"s the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I"m afraid I"m going to have to ticket you.
Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]
Officer: I"m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn"t know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you"ve known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]
Officer: I"m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin" out loud, can"t you just shut up?!"
The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma"am, Does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
Wife says, "No officer, Only when he"s drunk."
英语笑话爆笑长一点3
An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are in a maximum security prison in the U.S, about to do 10 years each in solitary for crimes they didn"t commit. One of the Guards takes pity on them and says, "Look lads, I can"t get you off the hook, but what I can do as a consolation is give each of you a ten year sup* of whatever you want. So what will it be?"
The Englishman says, "Well I love a cup of tea, so I"d like 10 years" worth of tea." The guard obliges and leads the englishman down.
The Scotsman says, "I really like a drink, personally. 10 years" worth of Whiskey would suit me great." The guard gets the Scotsman his whiskey and takes him down to his cell.
The Irishman says, "You know what, I really like a smoke. My wish would be 10 years" worth of cigarettes." His request is granted and he is taken down to do his 10 years.
10 years later the three men are finally released. The Englishman comes out and says to the guard, "Thanks, that sup* of tea really helped to get me through. Thanks a lot." Then he leaves.
The Scotsman comes out drunk as a monkey. He walks up to the guard and hugs and thanks him. "Thanks mate, those 10 years went by quick as a flash." He trundles happily off, staggering all over the place.
The Irishman emerges looking terrible. "Have you got a light?", he says.
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